Tuesday, May 26, 2009

1st Ride On 2nd Date!

I respect him..more than anyone...dont know if he is aware about it or not..but i want him to know that how much i respect him..

reason to start blogging was > that i wanted to write our story...as true as life..as pure as sunshine...as innocent as a new born baby.

he is a very different person...in so many ways..yeah he is. not because i love him HE IS actually different.

i have been writing about T&T ( this n that) in my blog ..i have been writing randomly.. every time i wanted to write about us..i felt i m not that good at writing..i might not do justice to its purity. but its only he 'n' me who can describe it the best..not any professional.

This is our 2nd meeting...

10th of dec.2002, ansal plaza,khel gaon marg,new delhi.

he had a exam and after that we decided to meet there. i got ready quickly told mum that i m going for tuition...she never saw me like this before( she is jus going for tuition? or sumthing else?)..my 'lit' up eyes...my smile which i was not able to hide..just before stepping out i ran to the mirror again to have a look if m looking okkkk enough to meet him.. ( yeah! m ready to gooo..)

i went to the auto stand..there was no auto...no bus..no public transport? than i came to know today is transport strike : ( i dint want to get late..what do i do now? i cant ask my brother to drop me there.. how do i tell him that i will be late coz of this stupid transport strike...( we dint have mobile phones that time..) i saw a crowded R.T.V mini bus..i just got into that..n reached moolchand..now from there i ran..ran..ran...till ansal plaza...i was sweating in mid december ..

he was waiting for me outside MAC wondering if i m coming or not? ahh! here he is..waiting since long...my heart beat was dhuk-dhuk-dhuk-dhuk..so fast..whn i saw him..sweetheart!..truly..

we sat inside had burger n coke..his friends were also there on the different table...he was a bit conscious coz of them...i culdn't tell u guys..how was i feeling...so shy..so happy...and yes conscious too :p ..he was just smiling sweetly oblivious of the fact how much m crazy for him..

we chatted like innocent teeny boppers newly in love : ) excited n charged up to conquer the world...we roamed here n there...talking..blushing...

it was time to go...as it was a transport strike i culdn't go on my own...he gave me a lift..na-na my home was not on his way...he had to go opposite side to drop me...and he was not well aware of those roads...it was a different route for him..still he dropped me on his scooter...i wanted to hug him tight but...i was still shy to do that..we stopped at pushp vihar red signal i got down..looking at him...he whispered 'i love you' ohhh!!! dint want to go away from him..but have to....to meet him again...cant find any sleep anymore... " when u r in love; u cant sleep coz, reality is better thn ur dreams." thinking about him all night...wondering if he is also thinking about me! if yes than wot is it?
memories! so beautiful... always freshhh as dew drops.. even while writing about them i am tickled again...feeling 16 again..( hehehe..jus feeling 16 not looking 16 nemore..)

someone has said...we r given: two hands to hold,two legs to walk,two eyes to see,two ears to listen. but why only one heart? because the other was given to someone else. for us to find. and i have found, and lost mine....( lucky me! )

yess my heart is not there ...its with him now....forever....... : )

Monday, May 25, 2009

m smiling : )

lalalalalaaaaaaaa heyheyheyyyyyyyy....


i wanna sing.........

i wanna dance... dhik-chik-dhik-chik....

why? just like that ; )

someone's smile can make u smile : ) can make u dance..can make u sing too! lalalalalaaaaaa

heeehhehehehehehehe... u know i was missing him since so many days..i met him today.. n just feeling SO good.. wanted to hug him tight n close but culdn't do that coz it was a public place ;-/

he is the one who really keeps me going... wait wait..let me just share sumthing ..i wrote to him..

i know its not tht gr8 so what?

u r my fuel to keep me going..

ur friendship is my strength..

whn u r happy i blossom from inside..

whn u r there life seems bright..

its actually so true..ammm i wish i culd be wid him always... nothing like being wid him..his presense is so charming..mmm i just love him ya...

( and yes..that pic is not mine m not tht photogenic..hehehe..)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


thinking....thinking....and? thinking.........

thoughts come and go...some of' them we forget.. and some makes us forget everything else.

I am beginning to realize why parents find it tough to adjust to their ‘kids’ becoming thinking adults. the more I see the kids around me becoming men and women, the more it’s… sort of making me unsure of things.

now all of us, to some degree or the other, are gone. there are those who are not screwed up at all (if any), congratulations!! you may leave the blog right now ( hehehehe... as if i have any or so many readers.... stilll.. ) anyways! Sooner or later, most of us realize that too. now some of us might be interested in undoing some of the damage. but the big question is: what if beyond a point, the screwed-up-ness cannot be undone?

what if there is that critical point/moment where you realize you are gone and do something about it?

and WHAT if, that Point is already lost… way back sometime? what if, by the time, we grow up, we are already gone, that adulthood is simply spent caught fighting webs created well beyond our time of control ?

and to think that a lot of parents do things for the "benefit" of the child. yeah parents do their best always but according to their own correct way. but they r also human beings after all..they cant know OR understand their child's mind 'totally' always; or say, grown up's ; ) mind their choices, their priorities,their dreams,their............... T & T ( this n that)

hmmm...quiet complicated? i agree wid u.. but dis is wot it is/thats the way it is..

life is a reality but we cant stop dreaming.... dreaming of ? something or everything; dreaming of undoing the damage... dreaming of correcting mistakes we made..or dreaming wish i haven't done this... i dream too.. i wish if i...... ........ ....... ......... so many dash :D ha!ha! life would have been better. for sure. wondering!

heres sumthing i heared /liked /n wanna share>>

alice came to a fork in the road.

which road do I take? she asked.

where do you want to go? responded the cat.

i don't know, alice answered.

then, said the cat, it doesn't matter.
( got such a deep meaning. no? )


Sitting alone n wondering...
what is it m looking for?
why m so restless?
why my eyes r getting wet again n again...
is it you (?) who?
you are my body
you are my existence
cannot tolerate this separation
cannot find any sleep
cannot go through the night like this
my forehead needs ur pampered kiss
ur eyes looking into mine
you r holding me tight
now everything seems alright : )
this heart is crazy.... crazy n mad...
its just being itself its not tht bad
dont know what is its limit... limit of? anything!
being so poetic? ha! ha! ( though my lines r not rhyming ) but thts not necessary to be a poet.. (my idea :-/ ) no? its just about revealing ur emotions in ur own way..letting it go..let it flow..
just discovered my new TALENT ; ) wooooohoooo..

Monday, May 18, 2009

Most Romantic / Least Romantic

; )
1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5.. I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.


Sunday, May 17, 2009

Makes me feel like a "Princess"

Love rules the world!
its a mysterious feeling leaves us amazed.
when he said these words to me; i couldn't stop wondering :-
# i wanted to say u from all my true heart that u r the best thing ever happened to me. i love being wid u. i feel proud!

# u r the only thing m proud of having. what u have done for me is something i can do for no one.

# when m with u, i feel like being on top of the world. blessed ...confident ... important... needed... thanks for everything... ******

# knowing someone must be waiting for me is a pleasure.
knowing someone must be expecting my message is my pride.
knowing that someone is no other than u - its my treasure.
( after reading dis sms my smile : ) touched my eyes)

# locked in my heart >> let me spend untill i can afford. tomorrow is so uncertain. you are the purest thing happen to me after my family. financially i have always been tight n m so kanjoos when its with u. i wanna treat u like a 'Princess' but thats just a dream. but we will go for dinner at a 5 star***** someday thats a promise!
{ you already made me feel like a PRINCESS : ) }

Bond That Bounds

Family! what is it which makes us love our family no matter what? what is it which holds us together? do we actually know the people whom we call our family ? is it just 'blood relation' which is so powerful that makes us love our family ( if at all).

Why we live with our family? is it just because we love them OR that's what we are supposed to do? if we love our family why brothers fight over property? why are sisters jealous of each other? everyone has a different reason ; or may be compulsion to live with family. will they really stand by you?

In animal world, there are no hard feelings when children go on their own path to make their own life. but in human world its not like that. parents get hurt if children decides to live their own life on their own terms. parents look after children and then children look after parents: is it natural? or we are forcing it?
If it should be okay for parents to "let go" of their children once they grow - and not interfere with their lives and not expect anything in return- is it also fair to assume that the parents then should live their own lives and perhaps cut us off the inheritance?
If we observe truly happy families; you will notice that in these families , people have some value to give each other. they dont talk in terms of sacrifice at all. they understand what needs to be done to keep their loved ones happy. loving someone because of blood relation is not simply enough. its 'understanding' each other which counts the most. all families have different levels of understanding thats why all families are different in dealing with their children and children dealing with their parents.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

No Identity! No Problem?

Scared of being what you actually are?

Is it the main reason why people stick to anonymity on the internet?

Does anonymity gives access to people's innermost thoughts? which they might not reveal if they knew who i was? How do you know how people will react to what you say? Or you dont care how they will react or think of you as long as they dont know your identity?

Is it a preasumption that anonymity is what works with people on the internet?

Still dont know : (

if anonymity was really that big; social networking wouldn't be making such a BANG in global and indian cyberspace. Isn't it?

Internet opens plethora of possibilities >>> meet, mate, chat, catch up, show off, dating.. are among the most popular reasons why people like cyberspace. Addiction could be any and many like: gaming sites, social networking, dating sites, chatting, horoscope sites, business related sites, puzzal sites etc. etc. and biggest of them all >>> writing your thoughts and having people read and react ; )

"Its about drawing your own limits." Spending all your time on the NET on the cost of everything else is bad. "The moment you compromise on your day-to-day social life you know you are over doing it."

Coming back to the anonymity>> I still wonder how important it is? Should we bother " what will the world think of me" anymore. Its amazing to put forth your point and have many more responding to that point. Its interesting to see so many varied opinions people have. IT ALLOWS YOU, IF NEEDED, TO CHANGE YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS.
Go On Login!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

"Guest is God" really?

"Guest is GOD "

Last week only i saw two cases of EVE TEASING and that too foreigners..

1# this white girl along with her two friends was buying chips-chocs etc..a bunch of guys were checking her out head to toe...actually they seem to strip her from their eyes. after cracking a few dirty jokes about her they asked her if she wants some juice obviously in a dirty manner...they were sipping sugarcane juice at a nearby juice corner..she smiled n refused politely.. here they go>> they started teasing her even more in tooti-footi english..she just left quickly with her two friends.

2# this chinese chic was buying veggies with her friend and this sabziwala giving her weired look and said something which she definitely dint like...i dont know what exactly he said b'coz i was watching it while waiting for a green signal to move my car..all other sick people around also started laughing at her..she just left without buying vegetables with a upset look on her face.

How good it feels when you are in a different country and people are nice to you..it is SUCH a relief, a huge-huge relief to just walk around the roads of an unknown city without anyone whistling, without eyes boring into your back, your b***, your whatever * , without walking through a throng of people crossing red lights wondering if someone is going to grab your a**. You don’t know the city, You don’t know streets and yet You feel very comfortable just walking around, sitting outside cafeterias with a coffee and watching as the city wakes up. It is such a relief that even when a man looks at you or checks you out, he does not threaten. Of course there are some jackasses, but unlike India (or the Indian subcontinent) where we seem to produce them in masses, not everyone is a jackass.

Perhaps some will give the argument that since boys and girls here grow up watching each other on beaches and wearing short skirts or cleavage showing outfits, they are more used to such stuff and therefore they don’t stare. (Between, the sari shows much more than jeans and a tee shirt does ) But you know what, in Dubai, MOST women wear a burqa and yet men DO NOT stare at tourists.

IF burqa woman and babes in shorts n heels can coexist in a country WITHOUT men molesting women on New Year’s and without staring or eve teasing, I say WE need to do something. What are we doing wrong that makes generations of men in India into such personal space invading, staring monsters?

Why its so difficult for delhi to pick up from truly international , truly multicultural cities? m not talking about adopting their culture and dropping ours..but people can be good to tourists.. they can respect their culture or their way of living.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Wicked Happiness!

All of us want to be happy and stay happy always... but how many of us are actually feel completely happy and satisfied? for a while everyone feels happy no doubts about that..but this happiness doesnt' lasts... why it happens? what is it which takes our happiness away?

how many of us promise ourselves that we'll be happy as soon as we achieve this or that success or get this or that material possession? and for how many years have we been convincing ourselves that the watering hole is just on the other side of sand dune? happiness is a human condition, created by human impulses, in a human brain. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT BUT COMPANIONSHIP IS QUIET A BASIC REQUIREMENT FOR MOST OF HUMANS TO BE HAPPY.

But if there is no happiness to be found through participation in society, and none found through asceticism.. than WHERE is it? perhaps happiness is a mirage we create for ourselves so we can strive for more...this unending desire provokes us to keep working for >>> Success/Money/Status/Progress/ And most importantly to give happiness to our loved ones.

it seems difficult to ever attain a state of constant happiness, atleast while one is capable of being a productive member of society in that case may be we should abandon the search for happiness.
helping others always gives a immense pleasure..a wonderful feeling of satisfaction.

Different people seek their happiness in different things>>> Businessman seeks it in money/ Celebrity seeks it in fame/ Swami seeks it in solitude.......

I have found my happiness in simple pleasures : ) i am capable of attaining infinite bliss, of sustaining that ammmmaZing sensation of ecstasy.. i glimpse now and then while wrapped in my lover's arms..it makes me believe that happiness is REAL... it exists in some way for everyone of us, we have to realize it..and search for it. if not, then what's the point of it all? what is there to live if not for happiness ? if not for love?
" If i could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday to the sound of your breath on my neck,
The warmth of your lips on my cheeks,
The touch of your fingers on my skin,
And the feel of your heart beating with mine......
Knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than YOU."